


A Bonnie Prize for Irish Eyes: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtars?

by Ikara



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Family, Fluff, Humor, Irish, No pairings - Freeform, St. Patrick's Day, Sweetness, adorable turtle antics, turtle tails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 06:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6273211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikara/pseuds/Ikara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelangelo’s brothers should really know by now not to underestimate his powers of persuasion when it comes to something he wants, and what Mikey wants is to give April the BEST St. Patty’s Day EVER! What could possibly go wrong? And why is Sensei so upset?  2k12 ‘verse. P.S. Mikey is a conniving little twerp when he wants to be. WITH ARTWORK!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bonnie Prize for Irish Eyes: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtars?

This story takes place in the 2nd Season, Kirby is still a mutated Bat but it’s after the episode “Target: April O’Neil” and April has forgiven the turtles and is friends with them again, but it is before the turtles officially meet Casey Jones. This is just a short one-shot I did as a break while I’m working on “Love is complicated as Shell” ‘cuz my brain won’t let me work on that story until I got this one out of my head. The art for this story is by the talented Puna-nezuki and is used with her permission. Please visit her site; http://puna-nezuki.tumblr.com  and tell her how great she is.  “Turtar” is not a typo, it’s the Gaelic word for “turtle” in case you didn’t know. A * indicates there will be notes at the end to explain anything you might not be certain about, including Japanese to English translations. I do not own TMNT and I make no money writing this.

 

  (WARNING! There will be some mild coarse language thanks to Raphael but nothing too distasteful.  There is also a brief mention of male genitalia, but if you are too young to handle the fact that boys and girls have different parts below the belt then you are _way_ too young to be reading anything on the internet. Run, run and shield your innocent eyes! )

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Holidays were serious business in Michelangelo’s book- didn’t matter how big or small, from  Christmas to Groundhog’s day, New Year’s to Arbor Day, even National Underwear Day*, it didn’t matter- a Holiday was a day to be celebrated with gusto!  And it just so happened that today was a very _special_ Holiday…

April O’Neil was not only a super close friend, but she was also a proud Irish-American, (Mikey thinks she once said that her great, great, great grandparents were potato farmers who immigrated here from Ireland, or something?) and that meant that March 17th was an important day!  Even though they were all Americans, Splinter had said that it is important to never forget your roots and where you came from, and that was why Mikey intended to make sure April had the best St. Patrick’s day* _ever!_

The only hitch in his master plan was getting his bros into the _full_ Holiday spirit.

Not that his bros _hadn’t_ been cooperative so far. They had all agreed to Mikey’s plan in the beginning, since they all wanted to do something nice for April now that they were on speaking terms again;

 Mikey had personally made the most amazing looking _“Happy St. Patty’s day”_ banner EVER and had even convinced Raphael to hang it up above the TV pit in the common room so it would be the first thing April saw when she walked through the turnstiles into the lair.

 Donatello had looked up Shamrock* origami patterns* on the internet and he and Leonardo started folding up a storm!  Mikey insisted they needed at _least_ a truckload of shamrocks, but he was going to have to settle for however many they had enough paper for. While there had been plenty of St. Patrick’s Day ads in magazines and newspapers that week that had made their way to the trash, green paper that was clean enough to be re-purposed for origami was still hard to come by. 

Raph had suggested they just make a quick trip over to Central Park and pick a few handfuls of weeds and call it good, but then Donnie had corrected him by saying that Shamrocks and other Clovers are not weeds but members of the “ _Trifolium family”_ (he also said that unlike weeds, clovers are beneficial in that they fix the nitrogen in the soil and they discourage common turf insects that destroy lawns. Oh _yeah_ , he remembered some science stuff! Go Mikey!).

Raph agreed to help fold paper if Donnie agreed to shut-up about plants.  It was a win-win.

With the decorations underway, Michelangelo had set out on preparing the food. His bros had been quite skeptical about this and Donnie had made some very vague threats about what would happen to the orange-banded ninja if he even _tried_ to get April to eat anything with algae on it (Saying something along the lines of he didn’t care HOW green algae was, they _weren’t_ feeding it to April!).  But they all relaxed once Mikey assured them he had asked Mr. Murakami* to gather the ingredients for him.  The man had _mad skills_ * when it came to food so anything that came from him would taste incredible, and most importantly, be edible to everyone.

Everything was coming together nicely; decorations, food… there was just 1 more detail that would make it _perfect_.  Being turtles, they were already green, but Mikey had insisted that since this was a special occasion, they needed to _“dress up”._

 

All 3 of his bros disagreed with him.

 

“NO.”  Raph had his arms crossed and was narrowing his eyes into that _will-not-be-moved-even-with-a-bulldozer-look._ Mikey rarely paid attention to that look.

“But-“

“I said NO!”

“But _WHY_?”

“Because it’s stupid, it’s _weird_ , and I’M NOT DOING IT! End of story!”  With that, the red-banded turtle turned away from his youngest brother’s pleading “ _puppy-dog eye_ _stare”_ and plopped down onto his bean-bag chair with a scowl that was sending off all kinds of bad vibes that were starting to fill the room.

This was _definitely_ not the Holiday mood Mikey had been hoping for.

The nunchaku- wielder tried to turn his watery baby-blues onto his remaining 2 older brothers in hopes that he could sway them to help bring Raph around to his side.  It was for a noble cause after all. 

Leo looked like he was ready to break; His left eye twitched a little as he looked from the small pile of colored fabric the freckled turtle had brought out and back up to said turtle’s wide, imploring eyes.  Leo worried his lip like he was weighing something in his mind and Mikey knew his big bro was close to giving in- The turtle in blue never _could_ resist his baby brother’s charms. 

Donnie however, was able to put up a much greater resistance by concentrating on his laptop.

“Mikey, I don’t think that this is _actually_ a legitimate Irish tradition. I’ve been doing a lot of research and I can’t find anything even _remotely_ close to what you’re suggesting.”  He was speaking in his _it’s-important-to-be-accurate-voice,_ but the growing blush on his face was a clear giveaway that he wasn’t so much concerned with accuracy as he was about embarrassing himself.

Raph snorted at this but his sour mood was starting to ease off a little now that it was obvious that Donnie was on _his_ side.

No way Mikey was going to let them get out of it _that_ easily. The orange-banded ninja hadn’t anticipated his purple-wearing brother to be against him, since this _was_ for April and all, but that didn’t mean he was going to just give up!

Being the youngest out of 4 stubborn ninja brother’s meant you had to have a battle plan ready to go if you wanted to get your way. Luckily, Michelangelo had developed a finely tuned strategy that would’ve made his Sensei proud (if he hadn’t gotten the idea from a video game)-  “ _Dr. Plan-en-stein’s 3 step attack”_ ;

_Step 1: break through your bro’s defense._

“Dude, _you’re_ the one who told _me_ not to believe everything I read on the internet.”

 _That_ got his bro’s attention.  Donnie looked up from the laptop screen to fix his little brother with a glare. He was still holding onto a grudge over the time Mikey had stumbled onto a site that congratulated him on being the 1 billionth visitor- how was _he_ supposed to know that clicking on the link to claim his prize would download a bajillion computer viruses? Totally not his fault!

Still, with Donnie’s gaze off of the laptop, he was now no longer immune to Mikey’s next phase of attack.

_Step 2: strike at the weak spots._

“-Besides, I got _my_ info from _April,_ and she’s Irish so it’s totally legit!”  It took a great deal of effort for Mikey to hold back a grin as he watched his clever brother’s eyes widen with surprise. The genius hadn’t even considered the possibility that his little bro would have such a credible source, which made him all the more vulnerable for the third and final step-

_Step 3: always go for the kill. No mercy._

Mikey made his eyes wide as he looked at the bō-wielding turtle with suspicion, putting on his best upset pouty face as he put just the right amount of quiet accusation in his voice;

 “…Unless you’re saying April is a _LIAR_.”

The indignant sputtering he got as a response as Donatello adamantly denied the youngest’s claim was counted as another point in the _Mikey-win pile_.   The red-headed girl’s word was solid gold to the brainy turtle, which meant that from here on out, he would go along with whatever Mikey said.

_Aw, yeah! Like a turtle do!_

This practically called for a victory dance, but it would have to wait until later- Michelangelo still had yet to finish off Leonardo, and that was critical if he was going to have any chance at taking down Raphael. 

He would have to work quickly too; the narrowed expression the hot-head was shooting him from where he sat fuming was a good sign that he knew what the prankster was up to.

Shifting his features from accusation to questioning, Mikey ignored the angry turtle on the beanbag chair to look at Leo; beseeching his Leader for confirmation and reassurance that only _he_ could give.

“…Leo?” Mikey’s voice was small and uncertain- a direct bull’s-eye to Leo’s _protective-oldest-brother-button._

The katana-wielding turtle looked directly into Mikey’s eyes and gave him a smile intended to be both calming and full of support.

“April’s always been honest with us. She wouldn’t lie about something like this.” Leonardo’s voice was confident and Mikey beamed at him. He just _knew_ Leo wouldn’t let him down! Big bro needed one more nudge and then Mikey just had to deal with-

“So _WHAT?!_ You’re just gonna’ bend over and take whatever BULL he comes up with just because _April_ gave the _OK_?”  Raphael had finally decided to step in from the side lines and his snarling tone made Leonardo bristle with irritation.

It was a bad move on Raph’s part; pushing Leo’s buttons was a sure fire way to push him straight into Mikey’s corner. 

_Score!_

Michelangelo watched the blue-banded turtle cross his arms and lift his chin up so he was looking down at Raphael- a good sign that Leo was either about to do his _“leader thing”_ or pull out his _“I’m more mature than you”_ membership card (He wasn’t just a member, he was, like, club-president for life or something).  That was cool with Mikey, he still had no idea how he was going to get Raph to go along with his _Super-St. Patty’s-Day-Master-Plan-of-Awesomeness_ (Man, he’s good at naming stuff!) and maybe Leo would buy him some time.

“No I’m not…”

(Wait, he’s _not_ going to buy him some time?)

“…But I also don’t think this 1 little thing is _that_ big a deal.”

(Oh! _Right,_ he’s talking to _Raph_. Gotta’ focus…)

Raph was getting up in Leo’s personal space now, something he did whenever he thought he needed to call big bro out on something.

“ _Really?_ ‘Cuz it seems like a big deal to _me._ Maybe you weren’t paying attention, but he’s expecting us to-“

“I _know_ , and I’ll admit it’s a little… _Odd_. But If you think about it is it really _that_ bad? Out of all the weird stuff we’ve seen, is this really the _worst_ possible thing?”

Mikey mentally chalked up a point for Leo on the scoreboard in his head.  Humans were confusing to _all_ of them; There were just so many of them and they were all totally different. They’d made the mistake of watching a _“National Geographic_ ” documentary with Donnie _once_ and it was pretty _messed-up*_ \- some of the customs and rituals humans came up with were super gross or downright _brutal_.

Knowing that there were cannibals out in the world that _weren’t_ Zombies was scary enough, but after seeing 1 dude give himself a lip piercing with a rolling pin, Michelangelo had made a solemn vow to _never_ let Donnie have control over the remote again… Unless he forgot.  (Wait _,_ _what_ was he supposed to be thinking about…?)

“April has made a lot of effort to learn more about _us,_ she’s been practicing Nihongo*, she’s mastered eating with chopsticks, she respects all the rules of the Dōjō, she even celebrated Bunka no hi* and Shōgatsu* with us.  Is it _really_ so much to ask that we return the favor?”

( _April!_ Right, thanks Leo!)

“If celebrating her Irish heritage is that important to her, then _we’re_ going to respect that. So _suck-it-up_.”

It was the tone of authority Leo managed to squeeze in at moments like this that really reminded Mikey why Leo was _Maturity-Club-President-For-Life._ When he said stuff like _that,_ with his older-brother _“leader voice”,_ it was pretty hard to argue.

Well, hard to argue unless your name was Raphael and your brother just made the mistake of telling you to _suck-it-up_ ;

Raph was baring teeth now and if Mikey didn’t know him better, he would’ve been worried he was going to _bite_ someone;

“Who said anything about not respecting her?! I’m just saying I don’t see why WE have to do any of this, it’s not like she _asked_ us. This was all _Mikey’s_ idea!”

That was a good point; April learned Japanese because Donnie _offered_ to teach her, and they had personally _invited_ her to celebrate the Holidays with them.  She never asked them to do the same for her, but she didn’t _need_ to and Mikey had already had a good reason _why;_

“Dude… Holidays are supposed to be spent with your family, only April can’t do that ‘cuz her dad’s still a giant mutant _bat_.”  Mikey said it quietly but it was still more than enough to grab everyone’s attention.

Kirby O’Neil’s mutation had been an accident but it had still been _their_ fault. Even though April said she’d forgiven them, they still felt guilty. Until Donnie came up with a retro-mutagen, the red-headed girl was going to have to spend every Holiday without a father, but that didn’t mean she had to spend them _alone_.

Raph’s shoulder’s tensed up as he quickly turned his eyes to the floor and the nunchaku-wielder knew he had gotten to hot-head. Mikey may not be the super smart Genius who knows almost everything like Donnie is, but if there’s 1 thing he _does_ know it’s his bros; Raph wasn’t the mean, grouchy tough-guy he pretended to be… well, he _was,_ but on the inside, like, deep, deep, _deep_ inside was a big ole’ soft heart of turtle goo.

Unfortunately he wasn’t the type to call it quits so easy either.

“Well, why can’t she just spend it with her _Aunt?_ ”

 _Sewer Bunnies._ Mikey hadn’t thought of _that._

After her dad had first been taken away by the Kraang April had moved in with her Aunt for a while, so it would only make sense that she would move back in with her after Mr. O’Neil was mutated. While Michelangelo was glad that April wasn’t completely without family, he still felt a little disappointed. He really wanted to do something nice for his friend, but as long as Raph could play the _“Aunt-card”,_ there was no way he was going to give in and his _Super-St. Patty’s-Day-Master-Plan-of-Awesomeness_ would be a total bust!

“Technically-“

 Mikey perked up at the sound of his brainy brother in purple’s voice, it sounded like Donatello was about to save the day!

“April is staying with her _Maternal_ Aunt.  Her Gaelic heritage only exists on her _Father’s_ side.”

Mikey was super glad he wasn’t the only 1 who had a blank look on his face as they waited for Donnie to explain whatever it is he just said.

“…Her Aunt isn’t Irish.”

“NEITHER ARE WE!”  Raph was really getting steamed-up now (Thanks a _lot_ , D.) and he started to stomp his way out of the pit towards the direction of their bedrooms, probably planning on locking himself in his room and being angry for the rest of the day.

That thought made Mikey angry as well.  Raph was being selfish!  Why couldn’t he just _try_ to get along with everyone and do something _nice_ for 1 lousy day?!

“FINE! We’ll all celebrate _without_ you, and when April gets all upset and asks _why_ you’re not there, _you_ can be the 1 to explain how you _don’t care_ if you hurt her feelings!”  

The orange-banded turtle hadn’t meant to shout it like he did; it just sorta came out that way.  Leo was staring at him with wide eyes and Mikey got the feeling that his bro probably thought he went a bit too far.   Maybe he _was_ pushing it, a _little_ , but then again maybe Leo would have agreed Mikey’s temper was justified if he’d been paying attention to _another_ turtle in the room.

Donatello had been poking at the colorful pile of cloth they were intending to use to _“dress-up,”_ with a _“doomed”_ expression on his face, but at the sound of Mikey’s outburst he had snapped his head up with a look of panic in his eyes.

Raph had seen it too, and Michelangelo knew _exactly_ what his short-tempered bro was thinking;

That night when April’s dad first got mutated and she told them all that she never wanted to see them again, Donatello’s heart had been shattered to tiny pieces.  None of them had _ever_ seen their bro look so sad.

Donnie would lock himself away in that gloomy lab of his for hours every day, even skipping meals so he could spend all his time working to find a retro-mutagen while sulking over the loss of their friend. Outside of Ninjitsu practice, hunting for canisters of mutagen, and the occasional meal that they were able to drag him out to eat, they hardly saw him. When they _did_ , he looked awful- like, a puppy that got kicked after leaving a pile of doo-doo on the rug kind of awful.

When April finally started talking to them again, Donnie got better. He started eating meals with the family again and even though he was still determined to find a cure for Mr. O’Neil, he was spending more time outside of his lab.  It was a huge relief to everyone.

But just because their friend had forgiven them, that didn’t mean everything was back to normal yet.  This was her _DAD_ after all, and she still had to be hurting. They _really_ needed to rack up the brownie points. If they hurt her feelings so soon after just making up, who’s to say she wouldn’t stop talking to them again? Could they really take that chance?

Raph had to make a choice; a day of awkwardness, or months of a miserable Donatello.

“….Shit.”  Raph grit his teeth and for a moment they all held their breath before he huffed loudly then plopped himself back down on the beanbag chair.

“ _Fine!_ “  He shot Donatello a glare, “You’d better _appreciate_ this.”

The deep, relieved sigh and shy smile he got in response said a lot about how much the bō-wielder _did_ appreciate the red-banded turtle’s sacrifice. 

Michelangelo grinned as well; _Super-St. Patty’s-Day-Master-Plan-of-Awesomeness_ was now back on schedule.

_Booyakasha._

Mikey couldn’t _wait_ to see the look on April’s face! He just _knew_ she was going to love their surprise!

Seriously though, all this strategizing was _exhausting_.  After today, _Dr. Plan-en-stein_ was going into retirement; he’d leave all future planning stuff up to _Leo._

 

                                                                ~       ~       ~       ~

 

April O’Neil made her way through the various twists and turns of maze that was New York City’s sewer system until she came across the turn off that led to the abandoned Subway Relay Station that her mutant friends called home.

Earlier that week, Michelangelo had sent her a text insisting that they were going to throw her a special party in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day. While she had tried to assure him that they really didn’t need to go to all that trouble, he had flooded her phone with so many sad-faced emojis that she had caved in. It was _really_ hard to say _“no”_ to Mikey when he got an idea in his head.

She had gotten up early that morning to dig through every box, bag and drawer until she found her beaded shamrock brooch.  The red-haired teen didn’t really have much in the color green in her wardrobe, but there was _no way_ she was going into the sewers without _something_ to ward off any attempts at pinching. Even though the turtles would never intentionally hurt her, they didn’t always know their own strength, and this was 1 Holiday _“tradition”_ she hoped to avoid at all costs.

As soon as the final school bell rang signaling the end of classes for the day, April had made her way to a corner convenience store to pick up a 2 liter bottle of Ginger Ale Soda* before heading for the nearest man-hole cover. Just because the party was for _her_ didn’t mean she was going to show up empty handed.

Truthfully, even though she had said it wasn’t necessary, April was _really_ looking forward to this; she had missed spending time with the turtles and Mikey’s enthusiasm was contagious.

Even before she pushed through the turnstiles that marked the entrance of the ninja lair, April smiled at the sight of the brightly colored banner that she could see hanging over the TV pit;

There was a cross-eyed, ill-looking Leprechaun* on 1 end and what appeared to be a cauldron filled with either melted cheese or gold bubbles with a crooked rainbow overhead on the other end, and the words _“Happy St. Patty’s Day!”_ in big bold green letters in the middle, all done in crayon.

 Michelangelo may not have lived up to his namesake, but he had obviously poured his heart into drawing that banner and April felt truly honored at the gesture.

Hitching the strap of her school bag further up her shoulder, April walked past the turnstiles and headed down the steps, calling out to her friends;

“Hey guys, I’m here!”

“APRIL! Over here!”  Mikey waved both arms excitedly from where he was standing in the pit area and April walked over to join him.

“Did you check out the banner? Pretty _sweet_ , right? Oh! Don’t go anywhere I’ll be right back- _Just ‘gotta grab the grub_!” with that, the freckled turtle dashed off into the kitchen.

April wasn’t fazed by the _greet-and-go_ ; Mikey was always a whirlwind of energy and she had grown used to it.  If anything, it was better to enjoy the brief moment of peace while it lasted and take a closer look at more of the decorations her friends had gone to all the trouble of preparing;

She wasn’t surprised to see origami shamrocks littering the floor and benches surrounding the TV set, made out of what looked like paper ads from magazines promoting St. Patrick Day Sales events; Her friends recycled anything and everything they could scavenge to make their day to day living more comfortable. It was impressive to see how much use they could get out of other people’s discarded items, and more than once it had been a personal wake-up call to just how much she took for granted in her own life.

What _did_ surprise her however, was seeing Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello kneeling down in Seiza position as if they were waiting for training to start. Mikey had said this was a _“party”,_ did he mean something more formal?

“H-Hey-“ there was a slight cough as the purple banded-turtle cleared his throat _,_ “Hey April.” Donnie was smiling at her but it seemed strained and he fidgeted in place.

“Hey Donnie.” April smiled brightly in return while silently hoping her friend was feeling alright; the poor turtle looked like a nervous wreck.

“Hey, Raph.”

Raphael grunted in acknowledgement but didn’t say anything; he just stared down at his knees. April didn’t take it personally, but she _did_ wonder why his hands were clenched tightly into fists on his thighs instead of lying flat like they normally did when Splinter had them sit in Seiza. 

The Kunnoichi in training didn’t need to get 1 of her _“feelings”_ to sense there was something seriously bothering the sai-wielder, but she knew better than to try and bring it up.

Leo of course was sitting tall and proper and greeted her cheerfully,

 “April, we’re glad you could make it!”  Apparently whatever was bothering the other 2 wasn’t going to stop Leonardo from playing the polite host.

Grateful that at least 1 turtle in the room was acting normal, April returned the greeting and gave Leo her full attention.

“I’m really glad I could be here.”  She truly meant it too;

 In the short time that she’d known the turtle’s and their rat father they had become such a huge part of her life and their lair like a second home to her. In these past few months of not speaking she’d found she’d actually grown to _miss_ the musty smell of old water pipes and the faint but ever present scent of sewage.

“Oh hey, I brought drinks for everyone!” coming out of her reverie, she held up the plastic grocery bag containing the bottle of Ginger Ale she’d purchased for the occasion.

Soft drinks were still a novel commodity to the turtles. It was hard for them to come by _“human food”_ without April’s help and Master Splinter didn’t approve of an abundance of sugary, carbonated beverages. Still, this was a special occasion so hopefully he wouldn’t mind… She was eager to see what her friends thought of the taste.

“That’s great!” Leo’s smile was wide but for some reason he made no attempt to rise from his kneeled position to take the bag from April’s outstretched hand.

There was an awkward silence as the 2 of them just stared at each other before April decided that maybe something _was_ bothering Leonardo.

Doing a quick glance around the room to see if maybe a table or something had been set out and finding none, April lowered the bag back down to her side and tried to remain casual.

“Soooo, should I just set it down here, or..?”  

Before the turtle in blue could answer, Mikey made his re-appearance, carrying with him a large flat box that he carried almost reverently across the room before presenting it to the red-haired teen.

“Hope you’re ready for the best Irish cuisine you’ve ever tasted! I give _youuuuu-_ Um, guys? Can a turtle get a drumroll please?”  He received a collective _“no”_ from his brothers but ignored it,

 “Mikey’s St. Patty’s Day PIZZA!”

It took a great deal of effort to keep the smile from melting off her face and not stare down in horror at whatever pizza _“creation”_ the joyful turtle in orange had come up with this time.

(Oh gawd, _please_ don’t let there be any algae, _please PLEASE_ don’t let there be any algae…)

Not wanting to hurt her friend’s feelings, but _really_ not wanting to eat any _“green-pizza”,_ April took a steadying breathe and tried to remain optimistic.  Surely Mikey wouldn’t try to offer her algae _again_ , not after the _“smoothie incident”._

“What’s St. Patty’s Day Pizza?”

“Just your basic traditional Irishy foods; Corn, beef, and cabbage!”

Hearing the list of pizza toppings had the instant effect of assuaging April’s fears. It also seemed to have a sobering influence Donnie’s nervous mood;

“It’s _corned-beef*_ , not corn _and_ beef you dope!”

Mikey crinkled his snout at his purple-banded brother.

“How would you _corn_ a beef? That makes _no_ sense, dude.”

There was a light _smacking_ sound as Donatello brought his own palm to his face in exasperation and April had to bite her lip to keep from laughing aloud.

She actually didn’t mind that Mikey had made a mistake; years of eating _way_ too dry corned-beef and over-boiled cabbage had given her an aversion to the dish. Her father was a wonderful many things, but a cook was not 1 of them.

Lifting the lid of the box to take a peek at the _“Irish cuisine”_  April noted it looked more like a combination of pizza and Asian stir fry;  Just as Mikey said there was beef, cut into small strips and baby corn just like she would expect to find sizzling in a wok,* as well as bok choy* settled into the melted cheese . What really caught her attention though was the unmistakable marshmallow hearts, stars and horseshoes of-

“Are those, _Lucky Charms*?”_  It was a rhetorical question; there was no denying what Mikey had added in what was, in _his_ mind anyway, an attempt to give the pizza a needed boost of extra flavor.

“ _Seriously_ Mikey?” Now it was Leo’s turn to admonish the youngest- “You added _cereal_? I thought you said you were preparing something traditional.”

The Ninja leader’s tone had gone from cheery to disbelief and April guessed Mikey’s addition had been intended as a surprise for everyone.

“Dude, its _Irish_ cereal! There’s a Leprechaun on the box and _everything_!” Mikey defended.

April couldn’t hold back a giggle this time as 3 turtles groaned at the youngest’s logic as to what qualified something as _Irish._ She had _really_ missed moments like this.

There was a quick shift in gears, as was common when dealing with the hyper turtle in orange, and Michelangelo’s eyes were suddenly sparkling with a barely contained excitement as the young ninja suddenly remembered something.

“But that’s not all! We’ve got a surprise for you, April!”  If the teen could’ve compared the look on the Mikey’s face to anything, to would be to that of a little kid on Christmas morning.

“What is it?” 

April watched curiously as Mikey carefully set the pizza box down on the ground near the TV set before bounding over to where his brothers were still kneeling (How the _heck_ did they stay in that position for so _long_? Weren’t their legs asleep?) and took his place at the end next to Donatello so that now all 4 turtles were kneeling in Seiza in order from oldest to youngest.

“We got _dressed-up_!” Mikey announced proudly.

On cue, the turtles all did a 360⁰ pivot on their knees so that they remained in Seiza positon but now had their shells facing the red-haired teen.  Well, 3 of the turtles did anyway. After a harsh elbow jab to his side from Leonardo, Raphael begrudgingly turned his back to the human girl as well, muttering something under his breath that she didn’t quite catch and was probably glad for it.

April stared at her turtle friends with a blank expression, trying to understand what Mikey had meant by _“dressed up”._   None of them seemed to be wearing anything other than their usual masks and protective gear minus their weapons, but there was still something _off_ about them;

Leonardo glanced over his shoulder at her and he had that same encouraging smile he got whenever he helped her go over katas.  He didn’t seem as relaxed as they did when practicing forms though- actually, it looked more like he was waiting for her approval. (But approval for _what_?)

Raphael looked the exact opposite of the turtle in blue; his whole body was so tense it seemed to be shaking, and while he wouldn’t look up from staring at his knees, from this angle it looked like his face was severely flushed. April couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or ticked off to the point he was ready to murder somebody.

Donatello was rigid and also refused to look back at her, but by the way his hands were lifted to cover his face, April could tell that the change of color that she _could_ see was most _definitely_ a blush.  Donnie was mortified by something but April didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Finally, she looked at Michelangelo, and unlike his brothers, the happy turtle in orange was nearly bouncing with excitement.  He looked over his shoulder at her to see her reaction and all April could do was shake her head in confusion. Mikey seemed to get the hint, but rather than being disappointed that she couldn’t spot the difference, his grin only got wider as he helpfully leaned forward, raising his hips and giving his rear-end a wiggle- _Oh!_

April’s eyes were now drawn downwards to the bottom ridge of each turtle’s carapace where she found 4 brightly colored ribbons, each coordinated to match the turtles’ masks and tied into bows on their… _Tails?!_

Just when she’d thought she’d seen it all…

“Are those ribbons? On your… _tails_?”

Mikey was so ecstatic he was practically glowing;

 “Awesome _right_? Are you surprised or _what_?”

 _Or what_ sounded about right. It wasn’t _surprise_ so much as it was _shock._  April had known the turtle’s for little over a year and a half by now, heck, she’d even lived with them for a couple of months!* How is it that she was only _now_ finding out they had tails?

Leo’s smile had faded into a look of concern at her lack-luster response but Mikey still looked like he was congratulating himself in his head for a job well done, so April decided to direct her questions at him since he was obviously the mastermind behind this _“surprise”._

“Um, exactly how long have you guys’ had tails?” she ignored the whimper coming from Donnie, “-and _why_ are you wearing ribbons on them?”

Mikey stopped smiling and now looked puzzled,

“Uh, _always_ I guess? And the ribbons are for St. Patty’s day, obviously!”

April didn’t agree with the _“obviously”_ remark.  She had no idea what Mikey was talking about but a warning growl from Raph that sounded eerily like a Rottweiler was a good clue that this wasn’t one of the silly turtle’s usual _“Mikey-isms”._

 _“Mikey,_ I _swear_ if this is a _joke_ I’m gonna _-“_

Sensing the impending danger from his red-banded brother, Michelangelo hastily tried to elaborate;

“Come on April! Don’t you remember that Irish song* you played on your laptop last week? The 1 about the sleepy dude by the tree and those 2 girls who lifted up his man-skirt-thingy and then tied a ribbon around his-“

“I REMEMBER!” April interrupted quickly. She was starting to regret ever letting Mikey anywhere _near_ her music playlist.

“But I still don’t understand what _that_ has to do with anything, or more importantly, why I’ve never known you guys had tails before now-“

“BECAUSE IT’S NONE OF YOUR _DAMN_ BUSINESS, _THAT’S_ WHY!” Raph had practically snarled at her; he had turned to face her now and had somehow managed to look like a cross between complete humiliation and a rabid junk-yard dog.

Donnie seemed to be torn between wanting to stay perfectly still and wanting to retreat inside his shell, while Mikey and Leo both fixed glares at their red-banded brother for his sudden outburst. Naturally Leo took charge to try to reel the hot-tempered turtle back in;

“Raph! That’s _enough_!”

“Like _HELL_ it is!” Raph had redirected his ire from the red-headed girl to bark at Leo, “This whole thing is messed-up and I’ve _had_ it!” he turned his head to snap at Mikey, “ And YOU! You can just take your stupid Holiday plans and shove ‘em up your-“

“What is going _on_ in here?”

Everyone went quiet and slowly turned to watch Master Splinter enter the common room.

The tall mutant rat had an expression of absolute calm as he scanned the lair with his eyes, looking for whatever had caused the commotion as he spoke;

“When I agreed to let the 4 of you prepare our home for this Holiday I did not realize it would entail so much shout- _Kore wa nan yo?!”*_ Finally noticing his sons, Splinter’s gaze had widened in horror and then anger.

“IMA JIBUN O KABĀ!”      

April watched her friends cringe at the harsh Japanese command before she blinked and suddenly Splinter was standing before her, bent at the waist in a low bow as he blocked the 4 turtles from her view.

“April! I must apologize! I am deeply ashamed of my son’s behavior, I _thought_ I had raised them better than this-“  his head turned to cast a sharp glare over his shoulder, “-but apparently I was _wrong_!”

Even though she wasn’t the 1 he was angry with, April still found herself flinching at his words and she felt instant pity for Leonardo who was struggling to come up with words to calm his enraged Sensei, his hands trembling and raised half-way in a gesture of surrender

“S-Sensei, it’s not what it looks like! See, it’s a custom-“*

“ _DAMARU YO!”_

Leonardo’s mouth shut with an audible snap and Splinter turned his attention back to April, his voice lowered back down to an apologetic tone as he humbly begged her forgiveness for… _something_.

April felt extremely uncomfortable and unworthy to be on the receiving end of an apology from someone who always exuded an air of so much authority, but she felt frozen to the spot.

“I can assure you, this will NOT happen again…”  With 1 final bow, Splinter turned on his heels to face his sons .

“Dōjō,   _ima_!”

There was a collective _“Hai, Sensei!”_ as all 4 turtles scurried to their feet and ran into the Dōjō as if the Shredder himself was on their heels.

Master Splinter folded his hands behind his back and marched in after them at a much more moderate pace, but he had this strange aura about him that April could only describe as some sort of amalgamation of disgust and fury that sent shivers down her spine.

Just what in the world had _that_ been about?

Once the Ninjitsu Master was out of sight, April let out a breathe she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, only to jump with an undignified squeak as she heard Splinter’s voice booming from the Dōjō;

“ORE WA ANATA GA ROSHUTSUKURŪ O AGEMASENDESHITA!”*

There was a sound of various muffled protests followed by hard _thumps_ of what were most likely turtle-shells hitting the Dōjō mats.

Letting her heart return to a normal rate, she glanced around the now deserted common room, still littered with paper clovers and a now cooling pizza box off to the side.

“…Guess the party’s over then…” she said to no 1 in particular.

Still, there was no sense in letting Mikey’s efforts go to waste;   April placed the bag of bottled Ginger Ale on the floor and made her way over to the TV set to retrieve the neglected pizza. Walking over to the cushioned bench, she shrugged her school bag off her shoulder, opened the box and helped herself to a slice after picking off the rainbow and clover shaped marshmallow bits of course.

 She was brave, but not _that_ brave.

“Huh, not bad.” Taking another bite of the surprisingly tasty _“Irish Cuisine”,_   April pulled her laptop out of her school bag and logged on to the internet.

She had some research on _“Turtles”_ that was long overdue.

 

END.

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* National Underwear Day is August 5th and it celebrates, you guessed it, under-garments.  Seriously, look it up, it’s a real thing. There has to be a reason Mikey has a collection of human underwear and this is what I’m going with, deal with it.

*In Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day is a day to celebrate Saint Patrick, a 5th century Christian Missionary who taught Irish Pagans the bible and is said to have driven out all the snakes from Ireland.  Here in the United States of America, where the turtles and April live, St. Patricks Day, or St. Patty’s Day, is a day to celebrate having Irish in your ancestry, even if it was in several generations before you were born, and this day is celebrated by wearing the color green (a childish game is that anyone who doesn’t wear green has to be pinched) drinking a LOT of beer, wearing silly hats that look like they were stolen from Leprechauns, and pins or t-shirts that say “kiss me I’m Irish!”

*A Shamrock is a 3 leafed clover, it is commonly thought that it is the White Clover, also known as the “Trifolium repens” (no it’s not actually white in color) and it is the symbol of Ireland. It is also what St. Patrick used to teach the pagans about the bible, by using the 3 leaves to represent the holy trinity in Christianity; The father, son, and holy ghost.  A 4 leaf clover may be extremely lucky, but it is NOT considered a Shamrock.

* Yes it IS possible to make an origami shamrock! You can find directions here;   www.origami-instructions.com/origami-clover.html    

*Mr. Murakami is a blind Asian man who owns a local noodle restaurant and is friends with the turtles. He was introduced in Season 1, episode 8 “Never Say Xever”. He invented “Pizza Gyoza” just to make the turtles happy.

*For those of you not familiar with the colloquialisms of American “street talk”, or “slang”, saying that someone has “Mad Skills” complimentary way of saying they are exceptionally talented.

*”Messed up” is another modern American expression that means “wrong” “obscene” “offensive” or “depraved”  when it is used in this specific context . In other situations, “messed up” can also refer to items that have been tampered with, a person who has been physically and severely beaten, or a room that was once tidy and is now in disarray.  I know, our language is weird, we get confused too.

*Nihongo is the Japanese language.

*Bunka no hi is a Holiday known as “Culture Day” in Japan.

* Shōgatsu is “New Year’s” in Japan, and it is a major Holiday.

*No this isn’t a bad joke about the Irish or Gingers, The Original Ginger Ale (not Canada dry) is a carbonated soft drink that was introduced in 1891 and invented by Dr. Thomas Cantrell from Belfast, Ireland.

*A Leprechaun is a mythical and elusive tiny person in Ireland that is said to have magical powers and is known for hiding pots of gold at the ends of Rainbows. If you can catch 1 or find his pot of gold, you can force him to grant you 3 wishes.

*Seiza is a formal upright kneeling position, with the legs folded underneath the thighs, while resting the buttocks on the heels. Often the hands are folded in front or resting on the thighs.  Also known in Japan as “proper sitting”.

* Corned-beef is a salt-cured beef product. The term comes from the treatment of the meat with large grained rock salt, also called "corns" of salt. Corned-beef and boiled cabbage is a popular meal to serve on St. Patrick’s Day.

*a wok is a bowl shaped frying pan typically used for making Asian stir fry.

*Bok choy is Chinese cabbage.

*” _Lucky Charms_ “ is the name of a popular brand of breakfast cereal in America that contains colorful marshmallow pieces in the shapes of hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers, blue moons, pots of gold, rainbows, and red balloons. There is a picture of a Leprechaun on the box and the story is that rather than worrying about someone stealing his pot of gold, he is worried someone will steal his bowl of cereal.

*In season 1 after the episode “Karai’s Vendetta” April had to live in the lair for a while because the Shredder had teamed up with the Kraang and were trying to capture her. In that same episode it was revealed that April had been learning Japanese phrases from her turtle “brothers”.

* “The Drunken Scotsman” is a song by the Irish Rovers, and it tells a story that ends with a Scotsman waking up to lift his kilt to urinate only to find a ribbon has been tied around his otherwise naked manhood. Now you may be wondering how I can use this reference since St. Patrick’s Day is an Irish celebration and this song , while sung by an Irish band, is clearly about a Scotsman and the Irish do not wear kilts.  Well, prepare to be educated! 

Saint Patrick may be the Apostle of Ireland but he was originally born in Kilpatrick, Scotland and his name was Maewyn Succat. As a teenager, he was kidnapped and enslaved by Irish raiders. It wasn’t until he joined the Catholic Church that he had his name changed to Patricius, or Patrick. So technically, the patron Saint of Ireland is in fact, a Scotsman. So even though the Irish don’t wear kilts, this is perfectly applicable to attribute to St. Patrick’s day. HA! You all just got schooled!

* “What is this?!”

*”Cover yourselves right now!”

*This is _not_ a traditional custom for St. Patty’s day, they are horribly mistaken. Do not do this, you will be thrown in jail.

*”Silence!” or “Be silent!”  -this is spoken as an order not a request.

*”I did not raise you to be exhibitionists!” –Sorry for all the Japanese, but I have this head-cannon that whenever Splinter is well and truly pissed he reverts back to his native tongue because his emotions are too high to express himself in English properly. By the way, “Ore wa” is a term only used by older men, women must never _ever_ say this, it is considered extremely crude if they do so.

*I’m sure most of you have figured out the joke by now, but for those of you that are a little slow on the uptake I will explain it simply for you; a turtle’s penis is located inside his tail.

If you’re a member of the Maturity club like Leo and are genuinely interested in turtle anatomy, I recommend the Scientific American Blog on the subject;

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/tetrapod-zoology/terrifying-sex-organs-of-male-turtles/


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